(I Diana Ross: Theme from Mahogany "Do You Know Where You're Going To?")
♪ Do you know where you're going to?
♪ Do you like the things that life is showing you?
♪ Where are you going to?
♪ Do you know?
♪ Do you get what you're hoping for?
♪ When you look behind you there's no open doors
♪ What are you hoping for?
♪ Do you know? ♪
(gasps)
(Trevor) Dear Diary,
I'm now, like, totally convinced that Mom and Dad couldn't care less if I live or die.
Last night I walked into the living room while they were watching TV,
fell dead to the ﬂoor.
(Thud)
No response from them.
I think that television reruns have replaced their natural spontaneity.
I mean, unless I'm on the 11 O'clock News, I really don't think they'd care.
And even then they might sleep through it.
Dear Diary,
Today I talked to Walter Stiltman about masturbation.
He said that I should be careful about getting my sperm on my hands.
We looked at his sperm under a microscope and we saw a lot of crazy activity!
Personally, I don't think it will make us deaf.
Anyway, I hope not.
It would be the worst thing in the world if I couldn't listen to Diana Ross.
She's my absolute fave.
(I Diana Ross: It's My Turn)
(Miming) ♪ I can't cover up my feelings
♪ In the name of love
♪ Or playing safe, for a while that was easy
♪ And if living for myself is what I'm guilty of
♪ Go on and sentence me
♪ I'll still be free
I have definitely decided to be Diana Ross for Halloween.
Diana had to endure a lot of prejudice while she was starting out,
and I will probably have to too.
(Miming) ♪ I hope you'll understand
♪ This time's just for me
♪ Because it's... ♪
Dear Diary,
I've become best friends with Pinky Faraday.
You would think that a guy named Pinky would be, well...you know, but he's not.
He's the star of the intermediate baseball team in town and everything.
Being friends with him means so much to me.
It's the next best thing to being popular myself.
I think that if someone came to town with a machine gun or something,
and threatened to kill Pinky, I'd offer myself instead.
He definitely deserves to live.
Dear Diary,
Everybody cool is making out at the Quality Courts Motel.
Cathy Quinn invited me.
She said it wouldn't mean anything, it would be a controlled experiment.
(Girl) Stop that!
But to tell you the truth, I had no trouble controlling myself.
It's not that she's not attractive,
it's just that I've had other things on my mind.
(TV) ♪ Fame!
♪ I'm gonna live forever
♪ I'm gonna learn how to fly
r High
♪ I feel it coming together
♪ People will see me and cry ♪
Dear Diary,
I've made up my mind about my future,
and tonight I explained it all to Pinky.
I told him...
Pinky, I've decided that the theatre is to be my life.
Cool.
(They laugh)
Pinky is so understanding. He's encouraging me totally in this pursuit.
(J' Anything Goes)
♪ The world has gone mad today
♪ And good's bad today and black's white today
♪ And day's night today
♪ And the guys today that win a prize today
♪ Are silly gigolos
♪ And though I'm not a great romancer
♪ I know that you're bound to answer when I propose
♪ Anything goes ♪
Great. And again.
Dear Diary,
Last night I was totally and truly happy.
Pinky walked me almost all the way home after play practice.
I told stupid Walter Stiltman how I felt about Pinky.
He said that I should be careful because he heard stories
about how boys do it with boys and that's totally gross.
You could end up a pervert...
O!" WOFSG.
I've decided to undergo voluntary shock treatments.
Hopefully this will cure me of having dirty dreams about naked men...
and Pinky.
Dear Diary,
Today Mary Zapatelli and Francine Antonicelli
informed me that the guys were talking about me behind my back.
They said that! walk like a girl.
I could absolutely kill myself over this.
Naturally I denied it.
I even offered to give them a demonstration.
And when I was finished, I turned around,
and Mary and Francine were looking at me as though I really had just killed myself.
I've definitely decided not to be Diana Ross for Halloween.
(Funereal organ music)
Dear Diary,
Today I practised for my funeral.
It has been that kind of a day,
absolutely the worst day of my life ever.
I called Pinky at home last night, his mother answered,
and she said that Pinky couldn't speak to me
and that I should try not contacting him any more.
I sat down and wrote Pinky a long letter telling him what had happened
because I knew he knew nothing about it.
The next day I gave Pinky the letter.
At lunch he gave me one back.
It said that! was a fairy, a weak person,
and maybe didn't even deserve to live.
OK. I... I'm not sure,
but I think this means that me and Pinky...
we're not best friends any more.
(I Diana Ross: Ain't No Mountain High Enough)
♪ Just remember what I told you the day I set you free
♪ Ain't no mountain high enough ♪ Aha-ah
♪ Ain't no valley low enough ♪ Whoo-ooh
♪ Ain't no river wide enough ♪ A-ha
♪ To keep me from you
♪ Ain't no mountain high enough
♪ Ain't no valley low enough
♪ Ain't no river wide enough to keep me from you
♪ Ain't no mountain high enough
♪ Nothing can keep me, keep me from you ♪
To whom this may concern,
I'm now like a prisoner in my own life.
Mom found my diary and read it.
Dad too.
I am now a person with no future,
and a past too horrible to think about.
Pray for me.
(Man) Bye-bye.
Father Joe came by our house today and took me for a ride to the Dairy Creme.
I should have been suspicious. I mean, to begin with, we're not that religious.
But it was only after! ordered my black and white sundae,
and was sitting in the front seat of his car like a total stooge,
that I realised this whole thing was a miserable setup
between my parents and Father Joe.
The man's penis becomes blood-engorged.
It's hard.
And the man inserts it into the vagina of the woman
which is lubricated with its own natural juices.
I swear it was like gag city.
And just when I thought I was grossed out to the max,
and humiliated to the point of never wanting to have sex with a single living person
for the rest of my totally sorry life...
Trevor...
have you ever had desires,
and I'm talking about sexual desires, for another boy?
Be honest with me.
I can help you if you're honest with me.
Did you ever, for example...
wanna touch another boy like...
and I'm not trying to suggest anything here, but like Pinky Faraday?
I've decided to start a new life.
I'm going to change.
First, I will dye my hair and eyelashes.
Next! will change my name, my identity.
Then I'll change schools.
And maybe I'll go to Mexico.
And as of now, I'm definitely changing my religion.
(Man) Trevor.
Dear Diary,
Today in English class Mr Kienast asked me
to read aloud from my report on the short story.
I chose for my topic the loss of innocence as reﬂected in literature.
(Sighs)
"The loss of innocence is brought about
"because of an experience with no explanation.
"The character must experience this loss, must be involved in the experience,
"must react with natural spontaneity,
“must be hurt,
“must survive.“.
(Sighs)
"The experience must be potent enough to be remembered
"and must create a subtle change in the character."
(Bell rings)
Mr Kienast gave me an "A" for my report.
No one knows I copied this all from a book.
Pinky's still ignoring me.
I must be invisible.
Dear Diary,
Sometimes I imagine thatl will lead an extreme and glamorous life
somewhere in the tropics.
Sometimes I imagine thatl will be famous
and everyone will wanna be photographed in my presence.
Sometimes I imagine thatl will die an early death
and everyone will be sorry.
(Sighs)
Everybody at school is saying that I'm a gay.
It must be showing.
But I look at myself and I don't see anything that's different.
No one understands.
My life is now an obvious tragedy.
Dear Mom and Dad,
I don't want you to think I haven't given this a lot of thought, but I have.
I tried to cure myself, but nothing worked.
Don't think it's your fault, it just happens.
Please give all my Diana Ross records and tapes to Christie Manistera,
who happens to love Diana as much as I do.
And please, if it's possible, play Endless Love at my funeral.
It's my absolute fave.
And don't cry too much,
it would have been a ski/lion times worse if I had lived.
Your loving son,
Trevor.
(I Record plays Diana Ross & Lionel Richie: Endless Love)
♪ My love
♪ There's only you in my life
♪ The only thing that's bright
(Miming) ♪ My first love
♪ You're every breath that I take
♪ You're every step I make
J"Andl
♪ I want to share
♪ All my love
♪ With you
♪ No one else will do
♪ And your eyes ♪ Your eyes, your eyes
♪ They tell me how much you care
♪ Oh, yes
♪ You will always be
♪ My endless love ♪
The people at the hospital said that
a person can definitely not commit suicide by taking too many aspirin,
but they pretty much guaranteed me that
I wouldn't have a headache for, like, another year.
I think they were kidding.
Anyway, I met this nurse at the hospital.
His name is Jack and he's like super-nice.
Actually, Jack is a candy-striper, which is almost like a nurse, only younger.
Jack said that when people commit suicide,
they just have to come back and live their whole life all over again.
And the thought of growing up with my parents again
made me totally depressed.
Jack said I wouldn't necessarily come back into the same family and all,
but I said knowing my luck, I would.
Jack said that from now on I have to start living my life one day at a time.
And then, like in the next breath,
he asked me what! was doing tomorrow.
Honey. Don't you want to come inside now?
In a minute, Ma.
OK.
And just when I thought Jack was going to invite me
to some totally deadbeat support group for gay suicidal teenagers,
he pulls out these two tickets to a Diana Ross concert.
Cool.
OK. So I don't know if it's the tickets, or if it's Jack,
but I've definitely decided to live...
through tomorrow.
(I Diana Ross: I'm Coming Out)
♪ I'm coming
♪ I'm...
♪ Coming...
♪ Out
♪ I'm coming out
♪ I want the world to know
♪ Gotta let it show
♪ I'm coming out
♪ I want the world to know
♪ Got to let it show
♪ There's a new me coming out
♪ And I just had to live
♪ And I wanna give
♪ I'm completely positive
♪ I think this time around
♪ I am gonna do it like you never knew it
♪ Oh, I'll make it through
♪ The time has come for me to break out of the shell
♪ I have to shout that I am coming out
♪ I'm coming out
♪ I want the world to know
♪ I gotta let it show
♪ I'm coming
♪ I'm coming out
♪ Coming out ♪ I want the world to know
♪ Got to let it show
♪ I've got to show the world
♪ All that I wanna be
♪ And all my abilities
♪ There's so much more to me
♪ Somehow I'll have to make them
♪ Just understand
♪ I got it well in hand
♪ And, oh, how I've planned
♪ I'm spreading love
♪ There is no need to fear
♪ And I just feel so good every time I hear
♪ I'm coming out
♪ Coming out ♪ I want the world to know
♪ Got to let it show
♪ I'm coming out
♪ I want the world to know
♪ Got to let it show
♪ I'm coming out
♪ I want the world to know
♪ Got to let it show
♪ I'm coming out
♪ I want the world to know ♪